MAKERS of fine musical instruments often stamp their identity somewhere on the body, so why don't makers of dog whistles follow suit?

We pondered this as we beheld the latest campaign flyer to invade our letterbox. It begins with a "42" so large we initially suspected it to be the work of local Douglas Adams obsessives. this misconception is swiftly cleared up: "42 million population explosion . . . in NSW it will mean: double the congestion and the delays; double the hospital waiting lists; double the pressure on our infrastructure and services; increased living costs. SAY NO to Labor’s population explosion." As if this were not an elegant sufficiency, it continues on the other side in even more terrifying fashion: "under Labor our population is set to double by 2050. Labor will do nothing to stop our population explosion. on August 21, SAY NO to Labor’s population explosion." Like a good musical instrument, this dog whistle’s form is pleasing to the eye (clean layout, crisp font) and its tone crystal clear, yet we see neither party name nor logo. why such modesty? It can’t be Dick Smith’s handiwork, largely on the grounds he’s never shy about his involvement in anything. and then we spotted it, spelled out with touching humility in microprint: "Authorised by Mark Neeham." Ah, that would be the same Mark Neeham, who is NSW director of the Liberal Party. Come, come, Mark, why tuck your light away under a bushel like that? Incidentally, this is the same political party that counts as a member one Peter Costello, the bloke who urged couples to not rest until they’d cranked out a minimum of three babies apiece.

Cost of Wyatt irk

SPEAKING of Costello, if you want to relive the magic of the man in a longer format but at a budget price, rejoice in these glad tidings: the Costello Memoirs, which was launched with a price tag of $49.95, is now available for $2.99. Start stockpiling copies for Christmas and-or roof insulation and you’ll be back to surplus in no time. and if you don’t buy any, Wyatt Roy’s boisterous campaign workers may come and punch your teeth in.

Bitar and twisted

UNLIKE Mark Neeham, Labor Party national secretary Karl Bitar is only too happy to use his name. among the series of open letters zinging between Bitar and Liberal Party campaign director Brian Loughnane yesterday, Bitar referred to the need for Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard to have a debate on the economy in order to "allow for a fulsome discussion with Australians on the central issue of this campaign". We’re hoping, fingers crossed, Bitar isn’t really calling for a debate that is, to borrow from the Macquarie Dictionary’s main definition of fulsome, "offensive to good taste, especially as being excessive; gushing; insincere". Incidentally, it’s interesting to compare the two adversaries’ signatures. While Bitar’s is narrow and crowded but zooming toward the heavens, a bit like Manhattan or an exploding firecracker factory, Loughnane signs his in a more horizontally expansive manner, complete with a short understroke accompanied by two dots underneath, which has the probably unplanned effect of making Strewth visualise a capsized frog.

Laurie’s lapse

IS Laurie Oakes starting to display symptoms of Stockholm syndrome? He’s been fighting the good fight against mind-bendingly awful slogans from Labor and the Coalition, but something troubling happened during his interview yesterday with Julia Gillard, who was only too ready to gloat:

Oakes: "Let’s move forward to another subject."

Gillard: "I’m glad you’re moving forward, Laurie."

Perhaps it’s just the strain of fighting a war on two fronts. here he is, attending to his other little matter:

Oakes: "the word-association test. What do you think when I say Mark Latham?"

Gillard: "Unfortunately at the moment, Laurie, I think Channel Nine."

Oakes: "Well, that’s a fair cop, gov. But you were one of Mr Latham’s strongest supporters when he became leader in 2003."

Ah, that. Gillard backer and Australian Workers’ Union national secretary Paul Howes tackles the issue in the Sunday Telegraph: "in 2004, Labor made the mistake of making Mark Latham leader. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. But, as we’ve seen in the past week, Latham is seriously unhinged and is, frankly, a complete nut job." nothing too opaque there. But surely it couldn’t just be a lament for the errors of one’s youth? What’s Howes really building up to? Let’s see: "I have always contended that Tony Abbott is the Liberals’ Mark Latham." Ah.

New buzz word

SOMEONE who is not having a terrific election campaign is Strewth reader Roy Gotaas, but as he knows, there’s nothing like a decent neologism to help dull the pain: "I wonder if a new word might help to raise the emotional level a bit? so, given the amount of largely toxic hot air coming from the vote-scavengers, I’m wondering if we could get ‘polutician’ off the ground? and thence, ‘polutics’, ‘poluticise’ and ‘polutical’? I offer it for what it’s worth to all fellow-sufferers." It’s a quest not without hope.

strewth@theaustralian.com.au