The party’s over … what then? Photo: Illustration by Harry Afentoglou

The party season is here again and so is the hangover, the “wrath of grapes”, as one wit calls it, with all the dreaded symptoms: headaches, dizziness, raging thirst, nausea and worse.

And despite a multitude of folk remedies (boiled tripe in Mexico, deep-fried canaries in ancient Rome and hair of the dog in diehard Britain), there is no concrete evidence that anything can cure a hangover, according to a review of the research published in 2005.

Alcohol is a powerful nervous system depressant that is rapidly absorbed into the bloodstream; the liver can get rid of only a small amount at a time, leaving any excess to cause havoc in the body. among other things, alcohol speeds up water loss (hence the dehydration), irritates the stomach lining (causing nausea), lowers blood-sugar levels and makes blood vessels in the head dilate (leading to the headache). so given the lack of an evidence-based cure, what do doctors – not generally known for abstemiousness – do to cope?

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Dr Bob Bury, consultant radiologist at Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust, recommends taking a pint of water and two ibuprofen before imbibing. “I learnt this in the Middle East with the RAF and it really does help prevent hangovers,” he says. “It’s something to do with the inhibitory effect of ibuprofen on prostaglandins [fatty acids made in the body].”

London GP Dr Martin Edwards recalls that when he was a junior doctor, the salt/sugar preparation given to vomiting babies was popular: “However, I always found it tasted of spit, so I didn’t find myself drawn to it the morning after,” he says. His favourite remedy is “simply to spend all morning in bed, though that does require a modicum of co-operation from my wife.”

Isotonic drinks such as Lucozade Sport are tipped by Dr Arun Ghosh, of Spire Liverpool Hospital. “People mistakenly think a can of something fizzy and sweet will help,” he says. “But the carbon dioxide actually gets the alcohol to the brain faster and the sugar rush makes you crash later on. Isotonic sport drinks rehydrate and contain carbohydrates which release energy slowly.”

Meanwhile, Prof Glenn Gibson, a microbiologist at Reading University, suggests plenty of water, some Gaviscon (sodium alginate, to soothe the digestion) and, rather ambitiously, “a game of squash“.

Physical activity is also a must for Dr David Tovey, editor-in-chief of the Cochrane Library, a health-care research organisation. He says: “Cycling to work is almost always successful,” and also prescribes himself “copious water and sugar for prevention and a cooked breakfast, if I can face it, as treatment. if needed, paracetamol.”

Surprisingly, Dr Phil Hammond, GP and comedian, suggests that it might be a case of mind over matter: “The only cure for a hangover is denial. if you can pretend you haven’t got one with supreme confidence, your brain may be convinced everything’s going to be all right. Failing that it’s sleep, sex, shandy and more sleep.”

Abstention has been the best remedy for Dr Nick Lowe, consultant dermatologist and clinical professor at University of California, Los Angeles. He used to swear by a full English breakfast, sometimes followed by a Bloody Mary.

“But the best cure for hangovers is giving up alcohol and that’s what I did about 10 years ago. Once I’d got over the shock, I’d found the cure.”

Sadly, it seems that the medics know little more than the rest of us when it comes to alleviating hangover symptoms.

And so to the official advice: to avoid a hangover, eat before drinking, limit yourself to one drink (equivalent to one small can of medium-strength lager) an hour, alternate alcohol with water, and avoid dark-coloured drinks such as red wine, port and brandy (they contain chemicals called congeners that cause more severe hangovers).

To treat symptoms, use paracetamol for headache (aspirin may irritate the stomach further), try fruit juice and/or honey to help the body process alcohol faster, and eat something nourishing. and, of course, drink plenty of (non-alcoholic) fluids.

The Telegraph, London