By Mary Esparra Published: 2:00 AM – 01/18/12

The seasonal sparkle has dulled, New Year’s resolutions have been broken, bitter-cold weather is the norm, and holiday bills are coming due. It’s no wonder that Blue Monday — Jan. 23 this year — is considered by many to be the most depressing and stressful day of the year.

In fact, essential oils/aromatherapy company Aura Cacia is calling on all stressed-out Americans to take a 15-minute break at high noon Jan. 23. Go for a walk, stretch, practice yoga, play with your pet, massage your temples, or hug a loved one, the company advises.

Be warned, though. according to some local experts, chilling out may not cure what ails you.

With 25 years of experience in the field of psychotherapy, Dr. Michele Winchester-Vega assessed the 10 most stressful events in life:

1. Death of a child

2. Loss of employment

3. Loss of home

4. Diagnosis of terminal illness/aging parent

5. Change in financial status (up or down)

6. Loss of a significant relationship/family member/sibling

10. Higher education/multiple jobs

“Anything that interferes with normal development causes stress,” said Winchester-Vega. “Like if someone has a very sick child, when it comes outside of normal development, it causes stress.

“We know that sharing things with people and having support is critical. get information necessary to make good decisions, because sometimes when these stressors happen, you’re numb. like they tell you on an airplane, ‘Should there be turbulence, make sure to put your oxygen mask on first.’

“You have to take care of yourself first. you can only give off your excess, so how do you build an excess so that you can feed others? some people love gardening, and others think that’s an arduous task. What’s your way to gain pleasure and to release tension? the best stress reducer is feeling connected, and that’s why people are in therapy, in groups, in fellowship, go on a group night out. People need to be connected and want to be connected.”

Michele Winchester-Vega, doctor of psychiatric social work, assistant professor at Yeshiva University’s Wurzweiler School of Social Work, and owner of a New Windsor practice of 12 clinicians of mental health, explains why so many of us feel so blue at this time of year.

“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also called seasonal depression or winter depression, is a mood disorder that some people experience every year at the same time, usually in the fall and winter,” said Winchester-Vega. “A rare form of it is known as ‘summer depression’ that begins in late spring or early summer, which we know less about.”

Symptoms for both have many of the same symptoms of depression: decreased levels of energy, difficulty concentrating, fatigue, increase in appetite, increased desire to be alone, increased need for more sleep, weight gain, being tearful, having difficulty sleeping and inability to feel pleasure.

“We know that light affects hormones, and it is believed that when hormone levels shift, we also do not get enough of the ‘good chemicals’ (serotonin) in our brains, and depression symptoms appear. some are treated with increased light exposure (light boxes, full-spectrum lights or sun), while others need SSRIs (Prozac, Lexapro, Zoloft) for the few months that their mood is affected.

“Chilling out is not what is suggested for people with depression,” said Winchester-Vega. “Actually, increasing their activity and keeping structure is indicated, as when we exercise and do things with others, our endorphins are increased, which gives us the more positive feelings.”

Often, depressed people turn to food for comfort.

“The mistake that many make is to eat foods high in carbohydrates to boost serotonin, which do have a calming affect on the body and mind, but the person then gets sluggish and less motivated to get moving,” Winchester-Vega said.

Therapist and licensed clinical social worker Jeffrey a. Roosa of Roosa Counseling Services offers ways to beat the winter blues by focusing on the power of self, something that gets lost during the holiday season.

“We’re always thinking about other people and not focusing on ourselves,” said Roosa. “You have interpersonal issues, social issues going on, and people lose sight of the balance and where they’re nourishing themselves. What is Christmas? Giving. What is Hanukkah? Giving. There’s always giving going on, not a lot of taking. It’s thought to be bad to take. you have to redefine the holidays and develop that self power and utilize it.”

Whether it is asking a fast-food cashier to correct your order or making sure you don’t miss your car’s scheduled tune-up, take care of the things in life that may cause you more stress if you don’t.

“If you go to Dunkin’ Donuts, you’re entitled to what you’d like,” said Roosa. “If you get the wrong order, do it pleasantly and tell them they were incorrect. Don’t drive off in a huff. you would be surprised how many diabetics would drink that coffee with sugar. they don’t feel the sense of entitlement at that very moment.

“‘We’re not using as much heat this winter, so I’m not going to get my boiler serviced,’ and then it stops. Whatever things they need to take care of, they’re not, and boom, they’re in a deeper hole.”

Weather and weight also add to our winter stress. “Winter brings extremes, which people don’t do well with,” said Roosa, “and that’s where anxiety plays a role in irrational thoughts and beliefs that people act on. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of that going on this time of the year.

“Traditionally, this is also when people start to look at their weight. now is the time we have to think about looking good in that bikini in the spring. this has crossed gender lines. You’re supposed to pay attention to your body. If you have that power of yourself and taking care of your dietary concerns and physical concerns, you’re going to be fine.”

Roosa noted that the phones in his office ring nonstop from August until the end of November and then slow down “because people don’t take care of themselves in December and January.”

If you don’t suffer from depression but are just stressed this time of year, treat yourself to a respite you like.

“The best way to chill out is to do something you enjoy and envelop yourself for a brief period of time and not worry about the pressures,” said Roosa. “For kids, video games are mindless activities that take them away. we can do that too by reading a book, spending some quality time with the people that we love, exercising.”

Winchester-Vega agreed. “Chilling out for all the rest of us is a good thing, as most of us have stress overload and are out of balance in life,” she said. “When we are in constant motion, it is like trying to live in a tsunami. It is only when the water is still can we really see things clearly. In order to see clearly, we must be still, quiet, calm.”

Winchester-Vega advised talking to others and getting support. take a walk in nature, escape with a book or movie, get a massage or acupuncture, meditate, do yoga or relaxation exercises.

Activities that get you moving also help to alleviate stressful lives.

“The summertime gives us more opportunity for social gatherings, picnics, graduations, weddings,” said Winchester-Vega. “Winter comes, people are more hibernated, and you don’t get the social relief that summertime brings, for both men and women.

“Women have more depression, anxiety and SAD because of our hormonal makeup. I think that women carry more of the emotional load than men, as we’re wired differently.

“Buy yourself some flowers or a candle. Create a spa within your house and take a hot bath. another thing is journaling, because it releases things that are on your mind.”

Social support and networking also help to relieve stress — young mothers sharing time with other young mothers, aging women sharing time with other aging women.

Stressed-out men can do the same things, suggested Winchester-Vega, but they generally don’t have the friendship/fellowship that women have with women.

“They’re passive and seem to enjoy watching TV or movies,” she said. ” anything that gets them connected to nature s a good way of releasing tension. Men like to hike, run, bike, box and do yard work as their escape. “

During a phone interview for this story, Winchester-Vega confessed that she was multitasking. While conducting business at a print shop, she got a call from the school nurse to pick up her daughter, then rushed back to the office to see a patient, before attending an evening planning meeting for a benefit event.

Her advice for beating stress? “Do the opposite of what I’m doing now.”

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