I’m only 20 and tbh don’t understand all of what you said. I think you should ask your doctor/gyn. They went to school to help you with these kind of things so they probly know more then some. They will understand your concerns. Also about the question about the pill or ttc w/e that is. if its a big dissision take your hubby into the doctor with you ask all the questions make sure you both understand short/long term effects, side effects, anything and everything. then when you get home make some tea or w/e and talk to him he’ll want to be part of the dission too expecaily if its a big one. when I got pregnet when I was 18 with the boyfriend I’m still with (love you Stephen) I took him to the doctors and we asked all the questions and hes catholic and wasn’t sure on his idea of abortion, so we talked about it and we desided an abortion was the best. like I said I don’t really know much of what your going though right now only because I’ve never been in your shoes nor do I know what ttc is (Well its a bus company where I am >_<.) I think for big dissions you need other people to suport you, not only in your choice but as a best friend, a husbond to have some one to lean on, and this is the best advise I can give. Sorry about not really knowing, hope you can find some relief, good things happen to good people so keep your head high and pass on good charm.