“I thought, ‘if I just go down this hill and have a wreck, I can go to the hospital and get some rest,’ ” Rohling said. “then I immediately thought, ‘you idiot! who in their right minds would want to hurt themselves?’ ”
That moment signified a point people with depression and anxiety must reach before they seek help, Rohling said. The O’Neal Bridge incident was three years ago, but it brought the then nearly 60-year-old Rohling “out of denial.” soon after, she said she decided life was too short to be miserable. She started talking to a doctor, seeking treatment for the depression and anxiety she believes she has battled her entire life.
“it was as if I could have bits and pieces of happiness, but it didn’t seem to last,” said Rohling, of Florence. “I suffered from severe anxiety. I was extremely grumpy and fussy. I just was not happy. and, if I wasn’t happy, nobody around me was happy, either.”
Externally, Rohling’s life appears ideal. She and her husband have four children and six grandchildren. She plays piano at her church and teaches piano. She is self-employed as a bookkeeper.
Rohling also works with the National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI) of the Shoals because she realizes she still needs help. The group offers classes and support.
“When I’m feeling good, I can overlook my spouse’s quirks,” Rohling said. “But, when I’m not in a good place, I want to kick him out of the house.”
Betty Robertson, NAMI Shoals’ education spokeswoman, said depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, may especially manifest themselves during the holidays when a person is feeling overwhelmed.
“a lack of family support and loneliness can exacerbate the illnesses,” Robertson said. “There are an awful lot of people who have no family, and, if they do have family, they are estranged from them. Sometimes the Christmas that we and Riverbend provide is the only one people (with mental illnesses) have.”
Dr. Lynn Embry, a licensed professional counselor at for your Health in Muscle Shoals, said those prone to depression and anxiety are indeed more vulnerable during the holidays. Not only do unrealistic expectations associated with special occasions and parties trigger episodes in those who suffer from mental illness, they also may feel pressure to spend money they do not have, overeat or mix alcohol with their medications.
Embry said older individuals are particularly susceptible to holiday depression, although those who are alone, grieving the loss of a loved one or a relationship, and alcoholics and addicts can find the holidays disconcerting, as well. When it comes to holiday anxiety, Embry lists the “worriers, the perfectionists, the ones who don’t take enough time to slow down and enjoy the present moment and the ones who are not able to set healthy boundaries for themselves” as most likely to stress out to an unhealthy extreme.
For most, some holiday stress is inevitable. But when it escalates to physical symptoms such as increased blood pressure, stomach problems, muscle tension, headaches, panic and the daily feeling of being overwhelmed, Embry encourages treatment by a physician. Medication is not always required in these cases, he said.
“There are varying degrees and one treatment does not fit all,” Embry noted. “Talk therapy, exercise and relaxation are helpful, along with good nutrition and a positive attitude. The support of friends and family is critical.”
Rohling agrees. She said it is essential for family members to be proactive in learning details about their loved one’s specific illness, especially around the holidays. for instance, much like dementia patients, people with mental illnesses crave structure and sameness. in holiday situations, a person’s carefully constructed environment may become unraveled and, therefore, extremely uncomfortable. Rohling emphasizes depression and anxiety are treatable illnesses, requiring support, not blame.
“There is extra stimulus that comes from the holidays,” Rohling said. “The person may not be able to handle everything that’s going on.”
Rohling said she now realizes she cannot do everything, especially during the holidays.
“I tried to be supermom, superwife, superwoman,” she said. “I’m getting better. I know now what my body can and can’t do.”
Rohling encourages those who feel something is wrong inside them and have not sought care to do so. if the family doctor cannot provide it, a mental health professional can, she said.
“We have to get rid of the stigma,” she said. “There’s no reason not to get help today.”
Rohling said seeking help has positively affected her mentally, physically and spiritually. She has learned to instill boundaries, be kind to herself and has finally found a place of serenity. her most prayerful time is when she plays piano, she said.
“I’m happy with the way I feel inside,” she said. “I’m more calm and more at peace with myself than I’ve ever been. That’s priceless.”
Cheryl Milligan can be reached at .