I've noticed some troubling red flags displayed by my toddler son and fear he may have autism. I'm not jumping to conclusions yet and I made an appointment to see a pediatric psychologist to see if that's true. The waiting now is killing me. I'm wondering how I can deal with all of my emotions about this. I'm terrified of the diagnosis of autism. However, I know that if he does have autism, an early intervention and treatment is critical. when I first saw a list of autism symptoms, I nearly threw up because so many of them described my son. How does a parent cope with this?
i had a friend with a son who has autism and he was such a wonderful child! please just remember that so many people deal with autism and much worse and you CAN do it. just arm yourself with knowledge and know that there is a support system out there to help you.
good luck!
Well to start I'm fourteen, so I don't have any children 
But my mum's friend had trouble conceiving so they had IVF and gave birth to a girl, later she discovered she was pregnant again, naurally, she was thrilled!
When she gave birth the nurses immediately noticed that there was something different about her son, he was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome. she seemed to cope well considering the shock and since my mum is a Special needs Assistant working in a school for the severe and profound she offered her much guidance and support.
She was coping really well and was very enthuastic when it came to teaching him things, and was always pround to show off his new talents. she began to notice things, he loved to sing and dance so she taught him loads of Norweigian songs, though he couldn't pronounce words fully he always recognises the song and humms along.
Sorry if this hasn't seemed relevant so far, but last year he was diagnosed with autism, so you can imagine the blow that took, but she still is so proud of what he can do and has such a great connection with him.
Stay strong and focus on the positives, he's still your son, and he will always love you ~*~
My grandson has autism. just remember he your child and he is special. There is Autism groups here local that can be a great help. we found out that local pediatric will not deal with it. you need to get with the Autism group to guide you how to get help you need. I truly hope your child does not have autism . but, If so there is people that will help you. you are not alone. If so, you need to start working working with the child a.s.a.p. Sooner the better, don't let the local pediatric hinder you for help. we went Thur this. we got outside help and now my grandson is doing great. The autism group was a great help on getting help for us.
Our prayers is with you and your family. Remember God gave you a special gift.
It's good that you are getting your child evaluated early so that IF there is a diagnosis of autism or another developmental delay, you can do early intervention and treatment.
The thing to remember with the list of symptons is a matter of degree so your kid could display some of the signs but it still be a part of typical development. Or caused by something else.
If your child does receive the label of autism or any developmental delay it will be difficult for you emotionally. I would encourage you to seek out local support groups for parents of children with autism AND to pursue agressive and intensive intervention, even though that may be exhausting, because the early it is dealt with the better the outcome for your child.
My son is 4 and is Autistic. I was in your shoes about 2 1/2 years ago. I first noticed something wrong when he didn't say a first word. He just babbled and made sounds but no words. Then he was delayed on a lot of motor skills and potty training wasn't happening. I took him to pediatrician and she suggested the notion of Autism. I went home and looked up the symptoms and same as you I cried and felt sick over it. I wondered why us? I had a good pregnancy and didn't drink or smoke or anything. we took our son to a Pediatric Neurologist and a psychologist. He was diagnosed and we started the Birth to three program and regular speech and occupational therapies. He is now in early childhood, speaking sentences with help and is doing well. It is ok to cry but intervention will help. Good luck and this will pass and you will learn to accept it and do the best you can.
Well, I have Asperger's, and it was very hard for my mom when she found out about my diagnosis. Maybe you should go to a support group so people can have empathy with you about it.
think about the positive things about autism. some of the positive things about autism are honesty, being able to think in pictures very well, and having a special interest. not that all autistic children have this, but these characterists can come from it.
deep breaths. my nephew has high functioning autism. at first we were all very worried by the label this put on him. but, he is 5 now, and has been diagnosed for 2 years. what this really meant for us, was that he didn't learn and interact socially like other children, and writing was difficult to learn, so WE readjusted. he excels in memory issues- directions, video games, songs. when he's excited he humms and/or flaps is hands. but it also looks just like he's a kid! the biggest challenge for us was his social interaction. he did not like new environments, and strangers, or new routines, was slow to talk, and did not take getting fussed at very well. once he was diagnosed, it really was a blessing. the was a special early pre-k that our school offered to give him a jump start of social interactions with other children, other than daycare, as well as one-on-one with teachers he grew to know and trust. he has really done well, with their help, and will be integrated into regular kindergarten- ready to ride the school bus no doubt! he is not cured, and never will be. you can really hardly notice, though. at first he looks like he's shy and in his own world, until he trusts you, then you can do no wrong. talk to your doctor, and local schools. be proactive about it, do the research, and know your rights. y'all will do well, you're on the right track!
I cried lots once we got the first diagnosis. Then I called our local autism society and got help. from there we got inot Early Intervention which was a godsend as we were already in speech therapy so we just added developmental and occupational. Then we went to 2 specialists the first told us our son was a behavioral case and we werent structured at all. The second confrimed hte high functioning autism diagnosis. He gave us info and counseling and listened to our fears. He helped me cope better than anyone.
The best piece of advice I got was he is still your son and the only difference between now and before you got the diagnosis was a label.
I have a special needs child and he didn't start walking until he was 2 1/2 or talking complete sentence until he was 6. He is now 13 years old and can't even spell his name or write anything or read. but he can sing (he memorizes all the words in a song) He watch movies and memorizes the whole movie that when he watches again he actually put in mute and says the lines himself.
If you child does have autism, this special child wil need much love. his progress may be very slow,accomplishments he may not show. He will require extra care, he may not run, play or laugh at the same time other child his age do. He will probably be labled different, helpless and disabled, but this child was sent to you from above, with child this comes stronger faith, and richer love. in caring for your gift from heaven. He is your special gift, care for him, love him and different with respect.
God will help you thru this. just believe.
Good luck, there will be times you want to throw you hands up in the air and runaway, but you won't.
The most important thing to remember is that this little guy is still your son regardless of whatever 'label' he winds up with.
The second thing you have to do, is to keep telling yourself (because it's true), that your initial feelings of shock, despair. helplessness, grief- whatever- will fade-eventually to the point where you will barely remember them. Please know that I am not attempting to trivialize your feelings and emotions- I would never do that to another mom in the ranks. I will tell you three resources that have been invalueable to me over the last 20 (oh my gosh- it's gone by SO fast!) years. The first is :The Autism Society of America
autism-society.org -lots of resources, and they can refer you to a parent support group in your area. I would like to interject here that parent support groups are great. you will find NO better resources than other parents- they have all 'been there, done that'. There are also two publishing companies that publish special needs books. they are: Woodbine House
woodbinehouse.com
and Brooke's Publishing
brookespublishing.com
They have the very latest books, and that's what you want.
Once you get back on the ground- when the initial emotions subside, you will want to educate yourself on everything about Autism. Learn what your rights are in regards to your son's education, what therapies you should be seeking, information about the physical and mental ramifications an Autism diagnosis involves, what alternative treatments are out there, and on and on and on. just remember- knowledge is power. oh, and a mantra that has always worked for me, as I have raised my son with Autism and my daughter with Down Syndrome- the whole educational aspect can be a war- you need to choose your battles carefully. this will make more sense as your son gets older. I so hope I haven't discouraged you. That is not my intent. All these things having been said, then, I will tell you with all my heart that raising my children has made me a much better, kinder, loving, understanding, tolerant, and definitely more patient person. both my kids are warm, loving, smart and funny- they make me laugh every single day. and when all is said and done, that's a pretty neat thing. God Bless you and your family. My thoughts are with you.
As a parent who too has a child with neurological disorder, I understand the fear, sadness and disappointment you may be going through. There is no magic way to take those feelings away. What helped me was learning as much as I could about the disability.
The more you learn what your child can do, the less you worry about the possible barriers you and your family may face.
They are many wonderful support groups for parents who have children with special needs. see if you can find one in your area. If not, start one.
The more proactive you are about the situation, the more control you will have it!
Good Luck!
My son is 3 and a nonverbal autist. He was diagnosed a little before he was 2. That was very fortunate as early intervention is the key.
My husband went through the whole grief process: denial, anger, bargaining and finally acceptance. I immediately went into "warrior mom" mode. I researched and read and became very involved with his treatment. To the point that I now work for the school district that educates him. I did grieve for awhile. It is important as the parent you do this. It is ok to mourn for the child you thought you had and envisioned. BUT do not stay in that frame of mind long because autism or no autism, he is your child and a blessing.
On the postive side here are some things our son has given our family (we have a total of 4 children):
*patience (couldn't we all use more of that?)
*unconditional love
*acceptance of all disabilities
*togetherness because we all work with him
*civic mindedness-we educate our schools and small community about autism
*responsibility for ourselves (because mom can't do it all!)
And these are just a few. I thank God everyday it is not cancer or some other incurable disease. I thank God I have been blessed and entrusted with this extraordinary little boy. Keep a gratitude list to refer to when the going gets tough and join a support group. they are all over the world.
Best wishes!
Just tell people that your autistic child is normal
You will grieve-every parent does. you had planned for and had a vision of what your child would become. That child is not going to come into being. Instead, you have a different child than you had planned for. There are no instructions on how to raise this child and there's fear because there is so much uncertainty. What's important is getting over the grieving as quickly as possible. It is not healthy for you or your child to dwell on things you cannot change.
Your child has not changed-he's always been who he's been, only now you understand why he has difficulties in some areas. now you can get him the help and services he needs. his childhood will be anything but typical and you will discover a creative resivior within yourself you never knew you had. as your child grows, you will grow because you will learn about life from a totally different perspective.
Trust me, it is not all negative. There's so much joy to be found if you look for it. many organizations put forth an image of autism being this unimaginable hell. I'm at a loss as to why they do this as it does nothing to help the autistics themselves, it only further propogates a false stereotype. It only adds to the stigma and that's probably why you're terrified of the diagnosis.
If your child is autistic, he has a developmental disability. this means he will develop on his own schedule and it won't mirror the development of typical children. Toileting may take a while, talking may take a while, reading and focus may take a while. Adding pressure to his development by trying to force something to happen will end in failure. Instead, nurture the abilities your child does have. Give your child a sense of purpose and self worth. this will pay dividends you couldn't imagine.
It takes extreme patience but you're in for a journey many people will never know. make the best of it and you will find what seems now to be impossible.
My child has Autism and related communication difficulties of Apraxia and Auditory Processing challenges. He first received a diagnosis of PDD-NOS Pervasive Developmental Disorder- not otherwise specified because he was young and didn't completely fit the criteria for a diagnosis of Autism. although he has continued to be social he is primarily non-verbal and has many difficulties including fine motor skills that are not the level of his same age peers. his diagnosos is now Autism with a secondary diagnosis of Communication Disorder. It is truthfully an emotional journey if your child receives a diagnosis on the Autism Spectrum from PDD-NOS, Aspergers, to Autism. The bad news/good news is that you are not alone. Autism Speaks autismspeaks.org states that every 20 minues a child is diagnosed with Autism! The most helpful thing to do is connect with other families and state and national organizations that can point you toward the many intervention and treatment options available. ABA Applied Behavior Analysis is among the top methods for helping children on the Spectrum learn to learn and connect with their world. you can learn to be a therapist for your child and help develop a bond with them through the implementation of a home ABA program. Behavioral Intervention for Young Children with Autism is an excellent resource to begin learning about ABA. Additional treatments that we believe in are a special diet GFCF Gluten Free/Casein Free (plus we also omit yeast, soy, eggs, artifical sweeteners); and supplementation of vitamins and minerals helps greatly make up for malabsorption issues, and further biomedical treatments that get to the root of the symptoms. Use the ARI or Autism Research Institute website to locate a DAN doctor near you for guidance in the Defeat Autism now treatment protocol.