What is your opinion for this plot?

by Symptom Advice on February 10, 2011

I was thinking of writing a story set in the early 1900's where a bratty, rich girl and a bitter, sarcastic stable boy who takes care of her Appaloosa horse have an affair but the girl is arranged to marry an older, creeper guy. Then the stable boy starts to get symptoms of Cholera. Since he is bound to die soon, he swaps blood with the girl so she can die with him and will not have to marry the older guy. I REALLY didn't want it to be a cliche so give me your honest thoughts.

it seems alright, the early 1900's adds to it, i love stories set back in time.
i dont think the guy the girls falls for (no the arranged marrige guy) shouldnt be bitter though, maybe some sarcastic lower class guy (cliche is always good in my opinion)

and your going to need alot of filler, some family conflicts when a family member finds out about the affair would be good in my opinion,

but the story seems decent, and i think cliche is good, … so dont worry about that

I would have the boy die, the girl escaping to europe so she doesn't marry the older guy. She settles down live happily in Paris or Rome and even tough she married another guy she loves and has children with him she is still in very much in love with the dead stable boy.

I understand what you mean about cliche, but my problem is the fact that he wants to kill the girl not to marry the guy. Maybe work around a different situation of how it will end, but the storyline itself sounds interesting. Good luck.

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Okay. I totally understand the cliche part, but here are my suggestions:

1) the Bratty, Rich Girl part is kind of obvious if you do something like that. Maybe to add somewhat of a twist where maybe the boy and girl's personalities are switched such as the girl being this sharp tongue, bitter, sarcastic rich girl yet doesn't like to show she has a soft and sensitive heart. And the boy could be happy and nice, but never gets to express his true feelings (I'll talk about this one later)

2) the old creepy guy is kind of cliche, also. She has to marry but doesn't want to… blah blah blah… same thing over and over again. Maybe instead, the creepy man is who she later finds out, is her uncle. It would definitely give a small twist onto it.

3) the whole love thingy, the way you come at it, is cliche. It's been used too many times. You can still have the whole love thing, just come at it in a different way. I was also just thinking, if you were to take Romeo and Juliet and turn it into a somewhat modern novel/story, it would definitely give a twist. I would also read the book and then twist parts of it and also take out parts. It would definitely have a good twist on a love story because the girl doesn't want to marry the guy, she is in love with someone else, and they feel like they can never be together. I would take the death scene and have the girl die first through maybe (on purpose) an accident… do you get what I mean?

Do remember that this is YOUR story so YOU write it however way you want!! Good luck!!

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